Sunday, October 9, 2011

ConstantCon Game: Playing in Kyrinn's World of Urutsk--Orgies and Feral Chicks...

I have to admit that I never took the time to really get into Kyrinn's world.  I knew from some of her blog posts that her world was extremely well developed--- she had been working on it for decades or something.  As you all know, I'm a one trick pony in that I just play regular ol' DnD, and this world and game system seemed to be too different for me to be able to sink my teeth into and enjoy.

Anyhow, when I saw her running Constantcon games on Google+, I was reluctant to join in for the above reason, and also, to tell the truth here, because she was a woman.  I've never played DnD with a woman before, other than my sister when we were kids, so that doesn't count, and Zak's Mandy in a Constantcon game once.  I'm not exactly the most classy guy in the world, and when I play a Constantcon game, I usually like to have a couple beers in me, kick back, relax and enjoy myself.   That usually involves juvenile/crude/classless humor or comments and/or character actions and interactions.  Most women don't seem to be enchanted with such behavior in other aspects of real life, for some unknown reason, so I figured it wouldn't go over well in playing the kind of DnD I like to play with women in the group.  What can I say---I guess I'm still single at 41 for a reason.  :)

Anyhow, the other night I asked if anyone was running a pickup game, and Kyrinn offered to run one for me.  She grabbed another player, a girlfriend of hers, and we were off.  Now I'm sitting her thinking "Shit, I've got to be on my best behavior.  Try to sober up.  It's gonna be a rainbow and butterflies type game.  We're gonna chase leprechauns or some shit."

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the first situation my character encountered was being dropped into an inn on the outskirts of civilization where people were fighting and killing each other, and fucking in various corners.  The first being I encountered was a feral wolf-girl who eyeballed my food, and once I fed her wanted to fuck.  So I obliged, of course.  One flaw all my characters I've ever played enjoy, is that if someone offers to bang you, take them up on the offer, no matter what their race.  I call this the Captain Kirk rule.

Next thing you know, there is a spell being cast on the whole bar, trying to put us to sleep or something.  I made the save only because the feral chick just bit me in the neck after sex.  See how the Capt. Kirk rule rules?  So I loot some purses while they're all half asleep, and run outside.  (I should probably add here that my character was a LOTFP Grindhouse Specialist.  Kyrinn simply converted whatever I wanted to do to her game system seamlessly, based on my stats and abilities and stuff.)

Once outside I meet my Kyrinn's girlfriend's character.  She is on her way in, I warn her off, and when I see two more of those caster race people coming towards the inn, I hightail it to the bushes, chivalrously leaving my newfound companion to deal with their shit.

Feeling a twinge of guilt, I keep an arrow aimed at the whole exchange from the bushes.  A fight ensues, we get the hell out of there after I throw burning oil on the tent house where a ton of people are being entranced by 3 of the enemies' companions.  They break off their attack, and we run into a cleft in a wall, looking for "old gold."

After a bit of delving, we come to a room with a bunch of weird chicks who keep petting us down, trying to draw us in, putting us at ease.  My paranoid "I'm just a first level thief and nothing good can come of someone wanting to make you feel at ease in a dungeon" DnD reflexes kick in and overwhelm any twinge of chivalry I have, and I hightail it out of there too, with the feral chick (who I named  Kim, after a crazy ex-girlfriend I had in college) accompanying me, having already peed on my leg in fear.

Little did I know that if I just stayed I would have partaken in a harmless orgy.  Shit!  Capt. Kirk would be disappointed in me.  My only solace is the fact that Kyrinn and I were on the same page in taking some perverse enjoyment in making her girlfriend blush for like half the game.  :)

Lest you think that this was the best part of the game---fucking feral chicks and orgies and a DM who can "go there" as well as any I've played with in terms of the down and dirty shit of life in a game---this was the least part of my enjoyment of the game.  The best part was Kyrinn's world itself.  The level of detail is unparalleled in any game I've ever played in.  She has like 7000 years of history timelined in great detail, including all aspects of races and cultures, geography, npc's, etc.  It's something else to see in play.  Her descriptions were in such detail that I've never felt so much like I was in a certain location in my head while playing a game.  I still have a very clear image in my head of everything that transpired, as if I watched a movie a few times.  It was fantastic.

The magic and weirdness level were spectacular. I couldn't figure a lot of stuff out, it didn't fit any known paradigm I am used to dealing with, and it was scary/creepy/twilight-zonish/wtf is going on here!  She's an excellent DM, the world is amazing, and the game she creates for the players is cool as hell.  I'm hoping we can make it a regular weekly event.  You're missing out on something great if you don't join in.